Friday, October 19, 2012

long time, no read

I haven't posted in a while.

Partially because I literally haven't read more than 30 pages in a book (until this weekend), since before my last post.

On labor day, I spent about an hour outside reading. Enjoying the day off, soaking up the sun. I had a day off from work and Devin was home. I thought we were going to lounge around, take the dogs on a hike, grab an early dinner and just hang out. Instead, at 10:03 a.m., my husband of a little over four years told me he wanted a divorce.

By noon I left the house for him to get some of his things.

By 2:00 p.m., he was out of the house, only to come back 1 more time and pack up the rest of his things (save for a couple that I gave to him this weekend.)

I tried to read to get my mind off things. It didn't work. It hasn't worked. It normally always works when I am in a state of overwhelm (I know that isn't the proper use of overwhelm but this is my blog, my rules). But I've never been in this severe state of overwhelm before.

As time goes on, it gets easier. That's what I told myself on labor day. It's been almost 2 months and it has gotten easier. It is beginning to feel more real. (for a while it felt like a dream. People would talk and it would sound muffled. I felt like I was walking through water.)

So naturally, I've been working working working. I started going to a trivia night (where I actually know about 8% of the answers!) I just got home (less than 12 hours ago) from a mini-vacation at my dad's house - where in which i got some sweet deals at Banana Republic's factory store (I NEVER get sweet outlet deals. I was so excited), I spent HOURS walking MILES on the beach by myself, I caught a legit shark with legit teeth off the coast (THREE FEET LONG IS LONG ENOUGH TO BITE YOUR ARM OFF, KIDS!), I talked to my dad, who is awesome, and my step-mom, who is also awesome, about everything going on. They both had (now cherished) words of wisdom.

And I cracked open Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. And I actually read some of it.

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