Tuesday, July 1, 2014
every little thing is gonna be alright.
This summer has brought a new breath into my life. I feel rejuvenated almost.
I get in these ruts where I use my failed marriage as a scapegoat for things I don't like in my life. If I'm having a bad day at work, I think to myself, "if I hadn't moved to Sullivan when I was married I would have never become a nurse." Which is actually, probably, incredibly true. I had no desire to become a nurse until I became one. "If I wasn't married to Devin I wouldn't have bought this house." Also probably true. I don't know if I would have stuck around Columbia. Who knows?
And that's my point - who knows? There is absolutely, positively no way to know what my life would have been if I would have not gotten married. All of my life choices have landed me here. And now it's time to live this life I have!
I have two trips planned (one more planned than the other) for this year. And then I unfortunately have to pare down on trips and vacations.
I have plans for my house! I am getting an estimate on new windows tomorrow afternoon (I know it will suck. I'm crossing my fingers it doesn't suck super bad). Towards the fall I am going to get an estimate on siding and shutters and gutters for the house. I want to LOVE my house. I want to be PROUD of my house. I want a cute little efficient home. Next spring I have plans for landscaping the front a little better. I may even actually buy a weed eater and use it.
And who knows? Maybe by the time next summer rolls around I will have totally different plans because my life could be totally different!
Just riding the waves for now though! Get outta the way, doubts and regrets! I got important owl shit to do!